God's Providence Alone

My prayer for the last couple of months has consisted in trust. In remembering things that I of course know that I should do, but in fact...do not. I suppose that is the human condition, my great frustration. But there I am, trying to rely on my own strength and forgetting above all that God loves me and He loved me first...He loves me first. I want freedom. Freedom to trust Christ with everything, even if (lets face it, when) I don't follow his will. I want to trust myself to God, and I do. It will be a great blessing on this pilgrimage to rely more radically on God's providence alone. There is a great freedom in having nothing and seeking the Everything. I go realizing my own poverty, and not just simple physical poverty, but knowing how little I am and how much God gives everything to me for His glory. I don't have a very good fear sense, as many know, so I am not very worried, but I know that it will be extremely challenging. It is this challenge that I seek, this great opportunity to realize my own weaknesses and God's own strength. (His grace is enough right Paul?) I go with nothing, relying on Christ in the form of others charity, relying on him in the spiritual difficulties that are sure to arise, relying on him for my being, my breath, and my life. For Love. Certainly I am a poor beggar of Christ, and He is all I desire. I ask all the angels in heaven to guide me, protect me and show me God's own love. And my mother, who I place my whole self in her maternal care forever. May I learn from her where strength is.

Totus Tuus.